“New Features” alerts in software

In which I rant about software and web site “notifications” telling you about “new” features and permissions they want from you.

There’s a new trend in software development going around where apparently it’s very important that users know about all the wicked cool new features in this latest release, so when a user launches the program, every few seconds the program has to completely block interacting with it to pop up a dialog bubble pointing to the new button that was added to UI telling you all about this new feature. (I’m looking at YOU, Evernote!)
Open program, click button to open a new document/card/note/workflow/whateverNO! You have to read about how we’ve added “chat” to this program! (great, yet another “chat” program…). Click to close the stupid dialog bubble, start to type something in the new document, get three words in and BOOM! New dialog bubble! Not only have we added chat, but we’ve added a new button to, I don’t know, make “presentations” of your documents! Click to close dialog bubble, try to finish typing the sentence (and cursing as your thought process has already been disrupted twice) and BOOM! No, it’s reallyimportant you know about this completely useless feature!
Why would I want to make “slides” out of my notes? If I want to make a presentation, I’ll use a program designed for presentations.. like, I don’t know, Powerpoint?

On a related note, web sites that do this drive me insane, especially on mobile devices. Click on something a friend has shared in Facebook. FB web browser opens, starts to load the site BANG! “Site would like to know your location and / or send you notifications”. NO. Site loads some more, BOOM! “This site should really be viewed in our APP! Would you like to install the app and read it there?” NO. Loads some more Blamo! Popup asking you to share the like / share the site with your friends, so they two can be asked for permission to send them push notifications, track their location and install an app, before reading the more and more marginally informative article.
Page FINALLY starts to become visible. You read the first paragraph and start to scroll down, but NO, the page is actually still loading all the useless menu bar graphics and advertising, and everything moves as it re-renders the new graphics, so instead of touching the text and pushing up to scroll, you just tapped an ad! Wait while the ad loads a completely NEW site, which starts playing a video with obnoxious audio.

Tip to my friends who see a cool video on a web site. If the video embedded in the site is on YouTube, just click the link to go to the YouTube page, then share THAT on FB. It will skip the clickbait site that didn’t actually say anything about the video (Seriously, “He starts to talk about something boring. But when he gets going? I finished it to the end!” (yes, really, “finished it to the end”. I kid you not. But I digress…) That site had ONE paragraph, that said NOTHING about what the video was about, just that it was something really neat / moving that you just have to watch. OK, just share the damn video link and skip the useless clickbait site.