/dev/zero

Turtle

What is Your Native American Totem?
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I finally got my fees paid up at Cabrillo. It cost me a whopping $34. That includes the $20 for a parking permit for my car.
Gotta love financial aid.
Been spending most of today creating Lilo and Stitch sound clips for Never was much into sound editing before. It’s fun. You really notice things when you are only listening to the soundtrack without the video, that you don’t notice otherwise.
Now if I could figure out how to filter out background music and effects when I’m going for a certain line of dialogue…

So I’m building a new server to replace forge.
Ok, more specifically, the server is built. I’m just migrating domains to it. But before I migrate any customer domains, I’m testing with my own domain. If something doesn’t work right with my domain, only I get annoyed. A customer, potentially a paying one, pissed off, is not a good thing.
I’m also playing around with Apache 2.0, since that’s what comes with Red Hat 8, which is what hammer is built on. It is /b much easier to implement virtual hosting with 2.0 than 1.3.x. The old way wasn’t bad: I just created a file in /etc/httpd/conf/Vhosts for the new host, then linked it into ../vhosts, then have Apache read in all of conf/vhosts. (I have to have it read vhosts instead of Vhosts because while Apache can be told to read all files in a directory, it can’t be told to ignore the RCS subdir, which created havoc.)
The new way is even easier: just add a VirtualDocumentRoot and VirtualScriptAlias directive to a single VirtualHost block in the main config. It then looks for a directory in the vdocroot and creates a virtual host with that directory’s name. Easy as pie. Don’t have to touch the config files or add a new one and don’t even have to SIGHUP the server. Just create a directory and make the appropriate DNS entry. Done.
And it works beautifully. If you go to http://andrew.pure-chaos.com, you’ll see my old web page on the new server. And there isn’t a single reference to pure-chaos.com anywhere in Apache’s config files. I LIKE it!

Now I just have to finish configuring Sendmail and add all the user accounts to the new server (I found out the hard way that just copying /etc/passwd,shadow,group over to the new machine doesn’t work real well. Red Hat added a few new system user accounts that aren’t in the old files. Good thing I backed up the original files on the new machine first.)

What a week.

I got signed up for classes at Cabrillo, found out what my books are going to cost me, attended my first class in 10 years, and applied for financial aid.
I submitted my FAFSA for 2002-2003 and 2003-2004 via the Department of Education’s web site. I got the SAR the next day. Went down to the financial aid office to find out what kind of aid I’ll get. Only it doesn’t work that way. Oh no, just because the Dep. of Ed. gave me access to my report doesn’t mean the school got it. No, it will be another month before it’s in their system. I called , since he got his financial aid in 7 days to find out how this works. He called the folks over at UCSC financial aid. Apparently the Dep. of Ed. doesn’t send the info to the school, the school has to go download it. Exactly as I did. And UCSC does this every week. But the people act Cabrillo won’t get around to it for a month. Because they’re lazy if you ask me.
So I walked over to the library, used one of their computers to download and print my SAR and headed back to the financial aid office, hard copy in hand. Except that was for the 2003-2004 school year, which doesn’t begin until next semester. Won’t do me any good to get my fees for this semester paid.
Then when I got home I received the email that says my SAR for 2002-2003 was ready. Downloaded it and what do you know? I don’t qualify for a Pell grant, or a few other things. Because I made too much money in 2001. Yeah. 2001. When I had a job. When I was still making $83k. But I got laid off in March. But I still made almost $40k in 2001 between my severance and liquidating my 401(k).
So I get to go in on Monday, convince the zombie behind the desk that she really can access my SAR right now, instead of waiting a month to get off her ass. Then file the paperwork that indicates my W2s and 1099s for 2001 are not an accurate representation of my ability to pay for school in 2003 and see what, if any, money I will get. All fine and dandy, but I have to pay for my classes tomorrow. I can’t afford to pay for the classes I’m already signed up for and sign up for one more computer class and a study skills class. And I really should take that study skills class. It’s been 10 years since I was in college.
And it doesn’t end there. I went to file for unemployment via the EDD’s web page, but it turns out I don’t qualify. Not yet anyway. My “base period” for my claim would end in September of 2002. I didn’t start working at EA until Oct. So I have no income in the base period for my “effective date” if I file today. I have to wait until fucking July to file a claim based on my Oct - Feb job! And of course since I only made $9.50/hr, I won’t exactly qualify for very much UC.
At least I should get back a chunk of money from the IRS. I’ll get back $300some for 2002 for my Earned Income Credit. And I’m supposed to get back about $3,700 for 2001. But since I didn’t actually file my taxes last year and am filing nearly a year late, I can figure probably about half of that will be eaten in penalties. But whatever I do get will be a big help.

The one bright spot is that my car insurance premium went down over $200 because I’m driving less than 50 miles / week instead of 500 miles / week. My next payment, due Tues, will be $116 instead of $231.

U.S. Senator Robert Byrd, on the floor of the United States Senate, February
12, 2003

We stand passively mute in the United States Senate, paralyzed by our own
uncertainty, seemingly stunned by the sheer turmoil of events. Only on the
editorial pages of our newspapers is there much substantive discussion of
the prudence or imprudence of engaging in this particular war.

And this is no small conflagration we contemplate. This is no simple attempt
to defang a villain. No. This coming battle, if it materializes, represents
a turning point in U.S. foreign policy and possibly a turning point in the
recent history of the world.

This nation is about to embark upon the first test of a revolutionary
doctrine applied in an extraordinary way at an unfortunate time. The
doctrine of preemption — the idea that the United States or any other
nation can legitimately attack a nation that is not imminently threatening
but may be threatening in the future — is a radical new twist on the
traditional idea of self defense. It appears to be in contravention of
international law and the UN Charter. And it is being tested at a time of
world-wide terrorism, making many countries around the globe wonder if they
will soon be on our — or some other nation’s — hit list.

High level Administration figures recently refused to take nuclear weapons
off of the table when discussing a possible attack against Iraq. What could
be more destabilizing and unwise than this type of uncertainty, particularly
in a world where globalism has tied the vital economic and security
interests of many nations so closely together? There are huge cracks
emerging in our time-honored alliances, and U.S. intentions are suddenly
subject to damaging worldwide speculation. Anti-Americanism based on
mistrust, misinformation, suspicion, and alarming rhetoric from U.S. leaders
is fracturing the once solid alliance against global terrorism which existed
after September 11.

Here at home, people are warned of imminent terrorist attacks with little
guidance as to when or where such attacks might occur. Family members are
being called to active military duty, with no idea of the duration of their
stay or what horrors they may face. Communities are being left with less
than adequate police and fire protection. Other essential services are also
short-staffed. The mood of the nation is grim. The economy is stumbling.
Fuel prices are rising and may soon spike higher.

This Administration, now in power for a little over two years, must be
judged on its record. I believe that that record is dismal.

In that scant two years, this Administration has squandered a large
projected surplus of some $5.6 trillion over the next decade and taken us to
projected deficits as far as the eye can see. This Administration’s domestic
policy has put many of our states in dire financial condition, under funding
scores of essential programs for our people. This Administration has
fostered policies which have slowed economic growth. This Administration has
ignored urgent matters such as the crisis in health care for our elderly.
This Administration has been slow to provide adequate funding for homeland
security. This Administration has been reluctant to better protect our long
and porous borders.

In foreign policy, this Administration has failed to find Osama bin Laden.
In fact, just yesterday we heard from him again marshaling his forces and
urging them to kill. This Administration has split traditional alliances,
possibly crippling, for all time, International order-keeping entities like
the United Nations and NATO. This Administration has called into question
the traditional worldwide perception of the United States as
well-intentioned, peacekeeper. This Administration has turned the patient
art of diplomacy into threats, labeling, and name calling of the sort that
reflects quite poorly on the intelligence and sensitivity of our leaders,
and which will have consequences for years to come.

Calling heads of state pygmies, labeling whole countries as evil,
denigrating powerful European allies as irrelevant — these types of crude
insensitivities can do our great nation no good. We may have massive
military might, but we cannot fight a global war on terrorism alone. We need
the cooperation and friendship of our time-honored allies as well as the
newer found friends whom we can attract with our wealth. Our awesome
military machine will do us little good if we suffer another devastating
attack on our homeland which severely damages our economy. Our military
manpower is already stretched thin and we will need the augmenting support
of those nations who can supply troop strength, not just sign letters
cheering us on.

The war in Afghanistan has cost us $37 billion so far, yet there is evidence
that terrorism may already be starting to regain its hold in that region. We
have not found bin Laden, and unless we secure the peace in Afghanistan, the
dark dens of terrorism may yet again flourish in that remote and devastated
land.

Pakistan as well is at risk of destabilizing forces. This Administration has
not finished the first war against terrorism and yet it is eager to embark
on another conflict with perils much greater than those in Afghanistan. Is
our attention span that short? Have we not learned that after winning the
War one must always secure the peace?

And yet we hear little about the aftermath of war in Iraq. In the absence of
plans, speculation abroad is rife. Will we seize Iraq’s oil fields, becoming
an occupying power which controls the price and supply of that nation’s oil
for the foreseeable future? To whom do we propose to hand the reigns of
power after Saddam Hussein?

Will our war inflame the Muslim world resulting in devastating attacks on
Israel? Will Israel retaliate with its own nuclear arsenal? Will the
Jordanian and Saudi Arabian governments be toppled by radicals, bolstered by
Iran which has much closer ties to terrorism than Iraq?

Could a disruption of the world’s oil supply lead to a world-wide recession?
Has our senselessly bellicose language and our callous disregard of the
interests and opinions of other nations increased the global race to join
the nuclear club and made proliferation an even more lucrative practice for
nations which need the income?

In only the space of two short years this reckless and arrogant
Administration has initiated policies which may reap disastrous consequences
for years.

One can understand the anger and shock of any President after the savage
attacks of September 11. One can appreciate the frustration of having only a
shadow to chase and an amorphous, fleeting enemy on which it is nearly
impossible to exact retribution.

But to turn one’s frustration and anger into the kind of extremely
destabilizing and dangerous foreign policy debacle that the world is
currently witnessing is inexcusable from any Administration charged with the
awesome power and responsibility of guiding the destiny of the greatest
superpower on the planet. Frankly many of the pronouncements made by this
Administration are outrageous. There is no other word.

Yet this chamber is hauntingly silent. On what is possibly the eve of
horrific infliction of death and destruction on the population of the nation
of Iraq — a population, I might add, of which over 50% is under age 15 –
this chamber is silent. On what is possibly only days before we send
thousands of our own citizens to face unimagined horrors of chemical and
biological warfare — this chamber is silent. On the eve of what could
possibly be a vicious terrorist attack in retaliation for our attack on
Iraq, it is business as usual in the United States Senate.

We are truly “sleepwalking through history.” In my heart of hearts I pray
that this great nation and its good and trusting citizens are not in for a
rudest of awakenings.

To engage in war is always to pick a wild card. And war must always be a
last resort, not a first choice. I truly must question the judgment of any
President who can say that a massive unprovoked military attack on a nation
which is over 50% children is “in the highest moral traditions of our
country”. This war is not necessary at this time. Pressure appears to be
having a good result in Iraq. Our mistake was to put ourselves in a corner
so quickly. Our challenge is to now find a graceful way out of a box of our
own making. Perhaps there is still a way if we allow more time.

and I were standing in line for the Midnight Movie at The Del Mar and yacking. There’s a group of young ladies (probably about 15, 16) standing right behind us yacking amongst themselves. Martin is talking about… I don’t remember now. Suddenly I hear the young lady immediatly next to me say “I’ve actually had sex.”… At that moment I am completely disctracted. I don’t want to ignore Martin. We were having an interesting conversation. I don’t want to listen in on these strangers’ conversation either. But overhearing a comment like that, just out of the blue, you just can’t help it! It takes Martin about 5 seconds longer as his sentence peters out. Brief pause and then “I’m sorry, I can’t not ovehear that! [laugh]“.
Young lady: “Oh, Mom was telling me about how many times she’d had sex with…”
Martin: “Ah-ba-ba! No! No! I don’t want to know! Just making an observation.”
Girls all laugh.

Ok, maybe that’s a bit premature. and I revived an SGI Crimson today. It’s been sitting in storage waiting for us to clean it and put it back together for some time. Too bad it’s not actually useful for anything. The geek in me wants to keep it, even if it’s just an endtable that hums. But the thing is about 2 cubic feet and weighs pretty darn close to 200 lbs. It’s just too darn big for my room. And it draws 16 amps of power. Would keep my room nice and warm on those cold winter nights.

I’ve been struggling with a new server to replace forge.godmoma.com. The current forge is a desktop PC. Dual PIIIs and a couple of 17 gig hard drives. The new machine, hammer, is a 2U rack mount unit, dual 550Mhz PIIIs, 4 8gig IBM SCSI drives and 1 160gig Western Digital IDE drive. I’ve been trying to get Red Hat 8.0 installed. It would install fine but kept dieing on the first boot. GRUB would lock up at stage 2. I tried FreeBSD to, which worked fine, but I only have a disk for 4.1 which is a little old and doesn’t have any support for software RAID. I tried Red Hat again and told it to install LILO instead of GRUB. LILO worked fine.

[root@hammer andrew]# df -H
Filesystem Size Used Avail Use% Mounted on
/dev/md1 18GB 1.8GB 15GB 11% / < ----- RAID 5, 3 drives, 1 spare
/dev/md0 103MB 16MB 82MB 16% /boot <----- RAID 1, 3 drives, 1 spare
/dev/hda2 156GB 51MB 148GB 1% /home <----- BIG flippin drive!
none 528MB 0 527MB 0% /dev/shm
/dev/cdrom 675MB 676MB 0 100% /mnt/cdrom

Couple more days and I'll be ready to slap this in the rack and start moving data over from forge. Customers should be happy. Everything will be configured much better. Should be easier for them to get at their files.

I love , really I do. She’s a very warm, loving person. She’s the reason I’ve had a roof over my head the last year and a half.
But being align="center">

please fix! //Gunilla// – Gunilla Leavitt / www.godmoma.com / (831)425-3646
gunilla@godmoma.com // webmistress@got.net
“Once the mind has been stretched by a new idea,
it will never again return to its original size.”
                   
                     -Oliver
Wendell Holmes

Uh yeeeeah… ooookay…
Amazing But True Fact: If you configure DNS to point www.domain.tld at an IP address, and the web server at that IP address hasn’t been configured for www.domain.tld, www.domain.tld doesn’t magically appear.

A major newspaper has finally noticed that when politicians talk about “cutting” a budget, what they really mean is, “We can’t increase spending as fast as we’d like to.”

Read for yourself.

I started building forge.godmoma.com² last night.
forge.godmoma.com¹ is a desktop machine with dual PIII processors and two 17gig IDE drives in it. It works, but when it was given to me to by it already had Red Hat 7.3 on it and I didn’t have time to rebuild the system or upgrade it. I had to make do with what I had. So the partitioning is less than ideal (heck, it has FreeBSD disk slices instead of proper Ext2 partitions on it) and some of the other layout stuff is funky to.

So there’s this 2U rack mount unit just sitting here and and picked up a 160Gb Western Digital EIDE drive the other day. This unit has 2 PIII 550Mhz CPUs and 4 7 gig SCSI drives.
I tried to install Red Hat 8.0 on it, but the disk have gone bad on me.
I’m playing around with FreeBSD 4.1 right now, though that will be wiped as soon as I get good RH 8.0 media.

I was going to take the assesment tests for math and English today, but I misread the time of the test on the schedule they gave me yesterday. I thought it said 11:30. I was heading out the door at 10 to 11 to get there in time and Picked up the schedule to glance at it. The test was at 11:00. And it takes 15 minutes to get there. And they recommend getting there early. Oh well, guess I’ll have to do it tomorrow.
I went to the campus anyway to talk to the instructors of the courses I want to take that don’t require assesment so I can add them. Then I started flipping through the catalog and realized I wasn’t entirely sure which courses I want to take. I know I’m going to take either Math 152 or 154, depending how I’m assesed. Not sure which English course (not quite so linear as the math curiculum), but I may skip that this semester anyway.
I figured I’d take 1 other course besides English and Math, then saw that Cabrillo considers 15 units a full load. Ok, make that 2 or 3 other courses, especially given that I probably won’t take English.
English is the easier grade for me, but math is the monkey on my back (I’ve failed Intermediat Algebra (Math 154) twice, maybe three times, at De Anza). I just want to get that damn course passed and move on. I sat down and did part of the practice assesment test for math last night and only then did it hit me how badly A) I never got some of this stuff to begin with and B) how much of what I did get I had forgotten in 10 years. I suspect I’ll be assesed for Math 152, basic algebra. I guess that’s fine. It has been 10 years, and maybe a refresher on the basics will make getting through Math 154 that much easier when I attack Intermediat again.
As for the comp-sci courses I’m looking at, I could probably teach half the courses in their catalog. I’ll see what I can challange. They do have some stuff I don’t need to satisfy prereqs to take that actually look interesting to me and might present some new material. They actually have a pretty impressive array of comp-sci courses. Nothing like what they’ll have up at UCSC of course, but pretty good compared to what they had at De Anza when I was there. But then, that was 10 years ago.
I ended up just leaving campus without registering for anything as I realized I wanted to think a bit more about what classes I want to take. Without a question, I’ll take CG 57 (Guidance for Re-Entry Men and Women). After 10 years, it’s only prudent.

I left the campus and decided it might be good to get some school supplies. Regardless of what courses I take, I have no basic supplies right now. So I stopped by Rite-Aide and was dismayed to realize how expensive basics are. $19.99 for a backpack and they didn’t have anything I liked. Everything either had frames and wheels or way too many pockets. When I was a kid I would have thought either one was neato. Now I just want a basic, durable bag that will hold my binder, books, pens, etc. And they all had really lousy shoulder straps. A decent binder was another $21.00. When did binders get more expensive than back packs? And paper… I guess they just don’t make three-hole-punched spiral bound notebooks any more. There were LOTS of choices for spiral notebooks, but none of them were punched. The only punched paper they had was just loose sheets. What’s up with that? That’s like the most basic thing a student needs and they don’t make it any more? Ok, so there’s some nifty features added to them now (mostly gimicks), but they can’t three-hole-punch them any more???
And of course this was a reminder of my very limited resources. Cabrillo costs $11/unit. I have just enough money to cover the registration on my car which was due yesterday, and my last paycheck from EA will cover the Feb. payment on my auto insurance premium. That leaves me about $200 left over, tops. With that I have to pay my tuition ($150), buy books (Figure close to $200), put gas in the car (much cheaper than when I was driving 500 miles / week to go to work, but still, ~$20 / tank. Figure 1.5 weeks / tank instead of 1.5 tanks / week.) Oh, and eat. Oh yeah, parking fees. $1/day or I can buy a permit for $40. And still have to fight for a parking space. I’ll be applying for every form of financial aid I can get, but I don’t know how long the approval process takes, and I have no idea how quickly you get the money once you’re approved.
Maybe I can talk my parents into helping me out. They’ve done it in the past enough times. I hate to go begging for even more money out of them, but at least this time it’s for education. Since they didn’t pay to send me off to an expensive university when I was younger, maybe I can bank on that. At least until whatever financial aid I can get comes in.

I got a lot of my stuff moved inside over the weekend. It got moved outside from the storage room last weekend when Rabbit and Andi decided they wanted it out of “their” space. There’s no way it will fit in my one room. So I moved in what I could and want, the rest will just have to sit in the carport. told me wants to clear out the carport entirely so he can actually put cars in there. Great, so where does that leave me to store my stuff? And like Gunilla is really going to find a place for all her stuff. He’s dreaming.

and I dropped by ’s dorm this evening to deliver some cookies. It was good seeing her again. Hadn’t seen her since before Christmas. She gives good hugs. Hey, with me no longer working in Redwood City after this week, we might actually get a chance to hang out once in a while. Pretty hard to do that when I only have time on weekends, and hers are always pretty busy.

We wanted to watch something fairly silly, and had never seen the movie version of Inspector Gadget before, so we rented that. Good not-too-much-thought movie. Very entertaining, G rated, etc. I think the funniest bit was when the Mayor first shows up. After about 10 seconds dconnect exclaimed “It’s the evil version of Gidget!”
And 30 seconds later, the Mayor, talking to Chief Quimby about the benefits of the new Gadget Cop explains “And it won’t call me ‘Evil Gidget’ behind my back.”

I got back to the house, moved everything I could out of the driveway and back into the carport then put a tarp over the rest. Hopefully it won’t get too wet when it rains tonight.
thoroughly pissed me off. My dinning table is out in the carport. I had cleared all the stuff that had gotten piled on it off so I could put my boxes of stuff on it, off the ground so they won’t get wet. I turn around and there he is going through ’s stuff, piling a mountain of shit on my table. I complained that I had just cleared it off so I could put my stuff on it. He says “Oh, I’ll clear it all off when I’m done.” Today, it isn’t done. So I complained to him about it. “Well Gunilla wouldn’t cooperate.” he says. “That’s not the point Thomas. When I told you I was putting my stuff there, you told me you’d clear that stuff off when you where done for the day.”
“Well Gunilla wouldn’t cooperate. Take it up with her.”
“No Thomas, I’m taking it up with you. YOU’RE the one who put the stuff there. YOU’RE the one I spoke to about it. YOU’RE the one who said you’d clear it off.”
“Well it’s not my stuff, it’s Gunilla’s.”
“But YOU put it there and YOU said you’d remove it.”
And so on, back and forth. His logic truly escapes me sometimes. Most of the time.
My back is aching. I still have to do some work on the web/ftp server tonight as promised to a customer.

Tomorrow I’m going to get my car registration renewed and try to register at Cabrillo College. Classes start tomorrow, so I’ll have to see if it’s at all possible to miss the first week of classes and still attend.

Argh!
I’m trying to balance my checking account, and the damn thing is off by $.50!
I can’t find 50 bloody cents.
Time for bed.

http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/arlonjanis/archive/arlonjanis-20030205.html

So I guess it’s that time of year again.
Yeah, this time I’m going to join the crowd that says “I hate Valentine’s day!”
Every year this holiday rolls around and every year I’m alone.
I remember lying in bed when I was 21, thinking “God, if I’m as alone in 10 years as I am today, I’m just gonna hate life.” At 21 I’d never had a girlfriend and I felt like such a loser.
So here it is, 10 years later, still never had a “girlfriend”. And life is sucking just as bad as it did then.
Here I am, 31 years old, perpetually single. Ok, yes, I’ve had sex. More than once even.
I thought maybe this year would be different. Alas, this was not meant to be.

But hey, at least I can look forward to unemployment in a week and a half.

I knew the chances of my 6 month contract at EA being extended were rather slim. Last week they let another guy in my group go nearly a month early.
The writing was on the wall. Today I was notified I too will be let go just over a month early. I have two more weeks, then I’m unemployed.
I’ve really enjoyed my time here at Electronic Arts. It’s been fun, the company kicks ass. Some really great people here.
But I won’t miss the commute.

One of many posts on this subject from everyone, I’m sure…

22 years ago I was allowed to stay up late to watch the first launch of Columbia. I lived in California then, as I do now. I was a kid fascinated with the space program. Probably at one stage, like most boys and many girls, I declared “I want to be an astronaut when I grow up!”
5 years later. I was in 8th grade. My science teacher, Mr. Johnson, had applied to NASA to do what Christa McAullife did. He started a film for his class (probably to babysit us), then went into the storage room to watch the launch of space shuttle Challenger. The film ended and he came back into the room looking pale and was barely able to tell us what had just happened.
The bell rang and we went off to our second period classes. English for me.
I and several others from the same science class came into Mrs. Vasquez’ room and told her what had happened. She didn’t believe us. Then the morning announcements came on as they did every day at the beginning of 2nd period and announced to the whole school what had happened. I don’t recall anything else being said. Mrs. Vasquez turned pale and went to the back of the room to get a drink of water. I don’t remember most of the rest of the day.
I listened to the radio that night and heard teachers complaining about students joking about what teacher they would have liked to see on the shuttle. Typical comments about “kids aint go no respect”, etc.
Then the jokes started flying around? “What does NASA stand for?”, “What did Christa say to her husband before she left for Florida?” Out of respect for the dead, I won’t fill those in.

I woke up today and read my email, saw something I couldn’t believe and checked CNN… so sad… another moment in history, another piece of history destroyed. Another childhood memory destroyed…

Then the speculation about what the rest of the world is saying about it on my email lists. “Yeah, the rest of the world is probably cheering that God has struck down the infidels again.” “I don’t want to be thinking about terrorism all the time, but that was my first thought.” “The rest of the world is right, WE are the terrorists…”
And people think I’m a cynic. Jesus people, can’t we just grieve for a little bit before launching into the implications for how we as a nation are screwing the world, or how the rest of the world is cheering that Americans died. Perhaps most of the rest of the world are just people to, and mourn such a tragic loss as well? I prefer to think good thoughts about others.