/dev/zero

These are the winners of a New York magazine contest in which contestants were to take a well-known _expression in a foreign language, change a single letter, and provide a definition for the new _expression.

HARLEY-VOUS FRANCAIS
Can you drive a French motorcycle

EX POST FUCTO
Lost in the mail

VENI, VIPI, VICI
I came, I’m a very important person, I conquered

COGITO EGGO SUM
I think, therefore I waffle

RIGOR MORRIS
The cat is dead

RESPONDEZ S’IL VOUS PLAID
Honk if you’re Scottish

QUE SERA SERF
Life is feudal

LE ROI EST MORT. JIVE LE ROI
The king is dead. No kidding.

PRO BOZO PUBLICO
Support your local clown

MONAGE A TROIS
I am three years old

FELIX NAVIDAD
Our cat has a boat

HASTE CCUISINE
Fast French food

VENI, VIDI, VICE
I came, I saw, I partied

QUIP PRO QUO
Fast retort

ALOHA OY
Love; greetings; farewell; from such a pain you would never know

VISA LA FRANCE
Don’t leave your chateau without it

AMICUS PURIAE
Platonic friend

L’ETAT, C’EST MOO
I’m bossy around here

COGITO, ERGO, SPUD
I think, therefore I yam (OK, more than one letter)

VENI, VIDI, VELCRO
I came, I saw, I stuck around (OK, another exception)

ICH BIT EIN BERLINER
He deserved it

ZEITGEIST
The Clearasil doesn’t quite cover it up.

E PLURIBUS ANUM
Out of any group, there’s always one asshole